encouragment

I occasionally read Orson Scott Card's World Watch essays. In this weeks essay he comments on encouragement and self esteem using American Idol and the appalingly bad performances from some of the people auditioning to be on the show as an example of why unflinchingly praising someone is a bad practice.

A good quote - "Praising people who have done nothing to deserve praise is the lazy, selfish thing to do. It makes them like you while setting them up for embarrassment and failure later."

Another choice bit - So does artificially boosting your self-esteem through endlessly repeated but unearned praise lead to greater achievement later?

No. Quite the contrary. "Some findings even suggest that artificially boosting self-esteem may lower subsequent academic performance."

and this bit about his mother (which reminds me of my own parents incidentally) "I think she absorbed at an early age Dale Carnegie's admonition that we be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."

Yet she never flattered anybody.

Because she only praised you for real achievements. She actually has a very sharp critical eye and knows exactly what you're doing badly and what you're doing well."

The whole article struck me as worth reading.