Dispatches from Nowhere 02.10.06
The next hallmark holiday is upon us.
I have a love/hate relationship with Valentine’s Day. It gives me an excuse to buy all sort of stuff for my sweetie. On the other hand, it gives me an excuse to buy all sorts of stuff for my sweetie.
I'm really bad with this. I know she doesn't really care about the "stuff" aspect of the holiday, which makes it harder for me.
Why?
Because I have to work that much harder to do something cool for her. I have to spend lots of money and time finding just the right gift and dinner package. Because how else will she know that I love her? After all, it is about how much I spent that proves thesize of my penis extent of my love.
You know what? Screw that. I don’t need to buy anything to prove my love to her. She knows that I love her by my actions. I don’t have to buy into the advertising, the crass commercialism that has been perpetrated upon the American male. I can choose to go the high road and Jewelry stores assault me on the radio. “Buy this crap cut and horrible clarity diamond for your loved one. She won’t be happy unless you do! Remember you only have three hundred and sixty four days until next Valentine’s Day to get her that new tennis bracelet!”
It is time to chuck all of it. The TV commercials, and Radio spots, the print marketing, the lingerie ads, the cheesy dinner package commercials. Everything. Well, all of it excluding the lingerie marketing. Because really, who doesn’t love lingerie ads?
…
..
.
Wow, those crickets sound good tonight.
Ladies, here is a “secret”. I know they market lingerie to you, but let us be honest with one another. (We can be honest here, right? Pull up a chair and get comfortable. Have a cup of coffee. We’ll talk.) Here is the deal. We only sort of buy it for you. I know, this is shocking, right? Really, it is a present for us. We only think we are kidding you. We have bought the marketing, hook, like and sinker. It is a testament to your intestinal fortitude that you put up with our ham-handed attempts at “romance”.
We buy the “stuff” because we don’t always know how to tell you how much you mean to us. We keep finding new ways for men to avoid telling those people that are important to them “You are important to me.” It is easier to say “Have this gift that signifies “I love you” because I can’t say it and the marketing leads me to believe that if I buy you these things the heavens will open, angels will sing, champagne will rain down, velvet ropes will lift, and you will have wild monkey sex with me.”
Behold the power of marketing.
I could be wrong. Maybe you find it endearing that we are so flustered about what, if anything, to buy you this holiday. Maybe we both relish the idea of a “romantic” night. Maybe we both like the idea of another “day” to give gifts to your sweetie. I know I caved in and bought at least one gift for her. I think she may even know what it is. That is ok. It is geeky and cool she will love it. It is my special present for her. It is not about how expensive it was or how many people I had to kill to get "it" for her. I know this. It has to be special. Not unique, per say. Just special. It has to show that I listen to her, that I know what she likes.
Of course, that is not all I bought her.
I am a guy after all.
I have a love/hate relationship with Valentine’s Day. It gives me an excuse to buy all sort of stuff for my sweetie. On the other hand, it gives me an excuse to buy all sorts of stuff for my sweetie.
I'm really bad with this. I know she doesn't really care about the "stuff" aspect of the holiday, which makes it harder for me.
Why?
Because I have to work that much harder to do something cool for her. I have to spend lots of money and time finding just the right gift and dinner package. Because how else will she know that I love her? After all, it is about how much I spent that proves the
You know what? Screw that. I don’t need to buy anything to prove my love to her. She knows that I love her by my actions. I don’t have to buy into the advertising, the crass commercialism that has been perpetrated upon the American male. I can choose to go the high road and Jewelry stores assault me on the radio. “Buy this crap cut and horrible clarity diamond for your loved one. She won’t be happy unless you do! Remember you only have three hundred and sixty four days until next Valentine’s Day to get her that new tennis bracelet!”
It is time to chuck all of it. The TV commercials, and Radio spots, the print marketing, the lingerie ads, the cheesy dinner package commercials. Everything. Well, all of it excluding the lingerie marketing. Because really, who doesn’t love lingerie ads?
…
..
.
Wow, those crickets sound good tonight.
Ladies, here is a “secret”. I know they market lingerie to you, but let us be honest with one another. (We can be honest here, right? Pull up a chair and get comfortable. Have a cup of coffee. We’ll talk.) Here is the deal. We only sort of buy it for you. I know, this is shocking, right? Really, it is a present for us. We only think we are kidding you. We have bought the marketing, hook, like and sinker. It is a testament to your intestinal fortitude that you put up with our ham-handed attempts at “romance”.
We buy the “stuff” because we don’t always know how to tell you how much you mean to us. We keep finding new ways for men to avoid telling those people that are important to them “You are important to me.” It is easier to say “Have this gift that signifies “I love you” because I can’t say it and the marketing leads me to believe that if I buy you these things the heavens will open, angels will sing, champagne will rain down, velvet ropes will lift, and you will have wild monkey sex with me.”
Behold the power of marketing.
I could be wrong. Maybe you find it endearing that we are so flustered about what, if anything, to buy you this holiday. Maybe we both relish the idea of a “romantic” night. Maybe we both like the idea of another “day” to give gifts to your sweetie. I know I caved in and bought at least one gift for her. I think she may even know what it is. That is ok. It is geeky and cool she will love it. It is my special present for her. It is not about how expensive it was or how many people I had to kill to get "it" for her. I know this. It has to be special. Not unique, per say. Just special. It has to show that I listen to her, that I know what she likes.
Of course, that is not all I bought her.
I am a guy after all.
posted by depressoboy at 9:40 AM
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