Dispatches from Nowhere 03.01.06
I think it was C.S. Lewis that wrote that pain is God's megaphone.
For the record, I do not believe he was talking about an impacted wisdom tooth. That being said, pain does have a magnificent focusing effect. For example, the more my jaw hurts, the more detailed my work becomes. The more detailed the work is, the less I pay attention to the muscles that are clenching my jaw shut.
I get more done when focused like this. I write more. I work more. I do more. I do all of this because it distracts me from the pain. Maybe I am just looking to get through the physical pain that is bringing tears to my eyes.
But, that really isn't the point. I‘m thinking about something more. The pain we feel as we are reshaped by everyday events, the pain that represents the scouring away of the unnecessary parts of our being, is a necessary pain.
Pain isn’t a bad thing, contrary to what we might want to believe. Someone tells me that pain is not part of growing. The ads tell me that my pain is not normal, that I am not normal and I should find new ways to kill the pain. I’m not talking about pills, not directly anyway. I’m not saying don’t take painkillers. I’m not saying don’t manage chronic pain. I am saying that I want to know what it is causing the pain.
I want to know and remember the underlying cause, because without that knowledge, we would not know how to distinguish between what is good or bad.
Maybe I should not call it pain. Maybe I am talking about a winnowing of the soul. Maybe it is a need to do something more than just sit and watch. I register it as pain because to me, change is painful. Change breaks my routines and shakes me out of my comfort zones. It makes me act in ways that I find unpleasant.
I don’t want to change. Left to my own devices, I would sit and pursue my own pleasures, my own desires. Not all of my desires are negative. But left unchecked they will consume me. There is more to me than just my animal desires. I want to grow to be more than I am.
If we are not growing, we are dying. A stasis position can only be held for a short period of time. Everyday we are faced with a choice. As we wither our minds, our bodies, and our souls, we make a choice. We can choose the embrace the change and accept the pain that is inherent to it, or we can choose to die.
For the record, I do not believe he was talking about an impacted wisdom tooth. That being said, pain does have a magnificent focusing effect. For example, the more my jaw hurts, the more detailed my work becomes. The more detailed the work is, the less I pay attention to the muscles that are clenching my jaw shut.
I get more done when focused like this. I write more. I work more. I do more. I do all of this because it distracts me from the pain. Maybe I am just looking to get through the physical pain that is bringing tears to my eyes.
But, that really isn't the point. I‘m thinking about something more. The pain we feel as we are reshaped by everyday events, the pain that represents the scouring away of the unnecessary parts of our being, is a necessary pain.
Pain isn’t a bad thing, contrary to what we might want to believe. Someone tells me that pain is not part of growing. The ads tell me that my pain is not normal, that I am not normal and I should find new ways to kill the pain. I’m not talking about pills, not directly anyway. I’m not saying don’t take painkillers. I’m not saying don’t manage chronic pain. I am saying that I want to know what it is causing the pain.
I want to know and remember the underlying cause, because without that knowledge, we would not know how to distinguish between what is good or bad.
Maybe I should not call it pain. Maybe I am talking about a winnowing of the soul. Maybe it is a need to do something more than just sit and watch. I register it as pain because to me, change is painful. Change breaks my routines and shakes me out of my comfort zones. It makes me act in ways that I find unpleasant.
I don’t want to change. Left to my own devices, I would sit and pursue my own pleasures, my own desires. Not all of my desires are negative. But left unchecked they will consume me. There is more to me than just my animal desires. I want to grow to be more than I am.
If we are not growing, we are dying. A stasis position can only be held for a short period of time. Everyday we are faced with a choice. As we wither our minds, our bodies, and our souls, we make a choice. We can choose the embrace the change and accept the pain that is inherent to it, or we can choose to die.
posted by depressoboy at 10:51 AM
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