Dispatches from Nowhere 11.26.05

I know - I'm late.

I received a call from a friend of mine the other morning. He was calling to tell me a mutual acquaintance of ours had died. He had no information on how or why. He passed on the funeral and memorial information and then life intruded and we got off the phone.

I haven’t really stopped to think about it more than to tell my wife and a friend at work that might have known the deceased.

I knew him (the dead guy) in high school – a place I left over a decade ago. I skipped my high school reunion, and have not shown any interest in seeing most of the people I went there with. Those I wanted to stay in touch with, I did. It’s not that he and I were not friends, more like we were good acquaintances. We knew all the same people, hung out with the same people, and hung out in groups together. But were we friends?

I don’t know. I doubt it.

Part of me thinks I should feel bad for being ambivalent about his death. It does not change the fact that I do. I admit to some morbid curiosity as to why he died. It seems that my circle of friends from High School has a habit of dying young. Leave a good-looking corpse right?

I feel bad for his mother.

I’m finishing this dispatch post –thanksgiving. My thanksgiving was full of family and light. This is the first one she has had to spend without her son. I don’t even want to think about how Christmas will be for her.

Family, biological or created, is important. They ground us. Keep us sane (and drive us insane). In mine, I always know that I can come home and they have my back. No matter what happens, they are there for me. Biological or created – that is family.

Holidays are supposed to be a good time with friends and family. Sometimes they drive us nuts. Sometimes they bring the pain into sharp focus. Mostly (I hope) they are about celebration of life and living it well.

Sleep well Wally’s mom. For the rest of you, If you are so inclined, think a good thought for her and for all the other mothers that have lost someone.